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Obamagolf.

  1. #1
    Baltimore Blowfish Palpalife's Avatar
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    Default Obamagolf.

    (Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaGolf. My name is Trina. How can I help you?

    (Customer) Hello, I received an email from Golfsmith stating that my Pro V1 order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it.
    I tried your web site, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

    (Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the web site. It should be fixed by the end of 2014. But I can help you.

    (Customer) Thanks, I ordered some Pro V1 balls.

    (Receptionist) Sir, Pro V1's do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with a choice of Pinnacle, TopFlite, or Callaway Blue.

    (Customer) But I have played Pro V1 for years.

    (Receptionist) The government has determined that Pro V1s are no longer acceptable, so we have instructed Titleist to stop making them. TopFlites are better, sir, I am sure you will love them.

    (Customer) But I like the Pro V1. Why are TopFlites better?

    (Receptionist) That is all spelled out in the 2700 page "Affordable Golf Ball Act" passed by Congress.

    (Customer) Well, how much are these TopFlites?

    (Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package?

    (Customer) What's the difference?

    (Receptionist) 12, 24, 36 or 48 balls.

    (Customer) The Silver package may be okay; how much is it?

    (Receptionist) It depends, sir; what is your monthly income?

    (Customer) What does that have to do with anything?

    (Receptionist) I need that to determine your government Golf Ball subsidy; then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below the poverty level, you might qualify for a subsidy. In that case, I can refer you to our BallAid department.

    (Customer) BallAid?

    (Receptionist) Yes, golf balls are a right, everyone has a right to golf balls. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.

    (Customer) Who said they were a right?

    (Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.

    (Customer) Whoa.....I don't remember seeing anything in the Constitution, but President Obama is a former constitutional scholar and he believes it would have been included if the Constitutional had Constitution regarding golf balls as a right.

    (Receptionist) There's no explicit mention of golf balls in the not been drafted by a bunch of slave-owning white men. The Democrats in the Congress and the Supreme Court agree with the President that golf balls are now a right guaranteed by the Constitution.

    (Customer) I don't believe this...

    (Receptionist) It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?

    (Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the balls this year.

    (Receptionist) In that case, sir, I will still need your monthly income.

    (Customer) Why?

    (Receptionist) To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.

    (Customer) WHAT? You can't charge me for NOT buying golf balls.

    (Receptionist) It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $49.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....

    (Customer interrupting) This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $49.50.

    (Receptionist) Sir, it is the $49.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.

    (Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!

    (Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.

    (Customer) Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.

    (Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that's why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.

    (Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?

    (Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates, sir

    (Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)

    (Receptionist) That would be the IRS, sir. Thanks for calling ObamaGolf, have a nice day...and God Bless the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.

  2. #2
    Wildcat Fan Chad267's Avatar
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    One word: Classic

  3. #3
    Yay Area Killa Beez Summercat's Avatar
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    Wow. Puts that in a different context doesn't it? Scary stuff.

    Sent from my Galaxy S4

  4. #4
    Wildcat Fan anguskahn's Avatar
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    Did we start a Fox news forum? I thought I was here to read about basketball, not to be subjected to your ridiculous and off base analogies. Last I checked golf ball prices weren't being raised by 30% every year by unscrupulous companies and crushing our economy.

    Sent from my DROID4 using Tapatalk

  5. #5
    Yay Area Killa Beez Summercat's Avatar
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    It's a general discussion forum. Great analogy. It shows how ridiculous the health care law is.

    Sent from my Galaxy S4

  6. #6
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    tagging to read later
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  7. #7
    Rio RawDogs Jeff's Avatar
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    Administrative bureacracies are fun for all ages.
    "Riding quasars all the way to the top of the mountain" - Bill Walton
    "#Shouldershimmythempeoples" - Kevin Durant

  8. #8
    Sao Paulo Sour Diesel Papadeuce's Avatar
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    Well this thread certainly has promise.
    “São Paulo is not for amateurs.”

  9. #9
    Stereotypical Asian Guy AztecWildcat's Avatar
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    That's racist

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    Originally Posted by Papadeuce View Post
    Well this thread certainly has promise.

    Does it have any Hope and Change?
    Twitter: @BeardownBill
    Papadeuce - "Whenever i meet up with kane my wife says to "tell your boyfriend hi for me""
    AztecWildcat - "There are more lawyers than people on this website. Jesus."
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    Ryno - "
    ****, I better take a shower before work. I smell like DawgWarrior"
    cjw2222 - "The only thing Rondae can't shoulder shimmy? eeisners sex life"


  11. #11
    Huntington Beach Honey Badgers cjw2222's Avatar
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    As long as the gubment doesn't do this for turtle food I'll be alright.

    I like turtles

  12. #12
    Huntington Beach Honey Badgers soazbnb's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by anguskahn View Post
    Did we start a Fox news forum? I thought I was here to read about basketball, not to be subjected to your ridiculous and off base analogies. Last I checked golf ball prices weren't being raised by 30% every year by unscrupulous companies and crushing our economy.

    Sent from my DROID4 using Tapatalk
    Exercise your right to not click into this forum. As the eloquent Mike Tyson once said, "if you don't like it, turn your station!" Or as Jules said in Pulp Fiction, "oh, well allow me to retort".....
    I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up, that's the best they're going to feel all day - Frank Sinatra

  13. #13
    Most Likely to Succeed The Doodie Master's Avatar
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    That was awesome
    Originally Posted by ACE View Post
    When I stood next to Stanley I didn't feel like a man.

  14. #14
    Stereotypical Asian Guy AztecWildcat's Avatar
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    Someone think of the children.

  15. #15
    Baltimore Blowfish Palpalife's Avatar
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    Somebody say Hope?


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    Baltimore Blowfish WildcatYuma's Avatar
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    You can't disagree with the president, or he will go all Benghazi on yo ass!

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    Rio RawDogs Jeff's Avatar
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    If this keeps up, the terrorists will have won
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    "#Shouldershimmythempeoples" - Kevin Durant

  18. #18
    Wildcat Fan Azwldctfan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Obamagolf.

    Originally Posted by anguskahn View Post
    Did we start a Fox news forum? I thought I was here to read about basketball, not to be subjected to your ridiculous and off base analogies. Last I checked golf ball prices weren't being raised by 30% every year by unscrupulous companies and crushing our economy.

    Sent from my DROID4 using Tapatalk
    You should go buy some golf balls then. $60/dozen these days. A few years ago it was $40. Pretty expensive fish toys.

    Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk

  19. #19
    Wildcat Fan JS Esq.'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Azwldctfan View Post
    You should go buy some golf balls then. $60/dozen these days. A few years ago it was $40. Pretty expensive fish toys.

    Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk
    If you have to look at the price of golf balls, you're too poor to play golf.

  20. #20
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    Where can i get some cheap lightly used NXT Tours?
    Twitter: @BeardownBill
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  21. #21
    Baltimore Blowfish Arty's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JS Esq. View Post
    If you have to look at the price of golf balls, you're too poor to play golf.
    LOL...Sounds like JS Esq needs to be taxed more.
    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr5sogzd4j1qfd3x7.gif

    I am the one who knocks....I am the Danger!

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    Chi City Chronic Esq's Avatar
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    Love it, except for the disconnect where ppl regularly go into crippling debt for medical costs. Not so much with golf balls.

    Also, pro v1s are the most expensive ball possible, of the major market products. So in essence this guy is upset that he can't get the most expensive product available because the new plan HE DECIDED to join doesn't cover most expensive product.

    If either one wants to he could go get the best, he just wont be covered under the plan unless he pays for a plan that does cover it or he just goes and pays out of pocket to a place offering the product.

    So, what you have is a guy who is still able to play golf / live, just using a less expensive product, due to his plan.



    Otherwise great.

    My plan didnt change. Im still able to only get nike ones. My plan never covered pro v1s.

  23. #23
    Chi City Chronic Esq's Avatar
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    Go ask a guy getting his golf balls for a lot less than those south of the border. Then tell him his plan sucks and doesn't work because has to stand in a line to get his pro v 1s. I am sure he'll be so upset of you talking **** about his plan, he will go to the doctor to get his feelings checked, for free (plus taxes)

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    Stereotypical Asian Guy AztecWildcat's Avatar
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    Not gonna lie I stopped golfing a long time ago too expensive and spent too much time on it.

  25. #25
    Baltimore Blowfish Arty's Avatar
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    Crap, someone invited the white guilt, I need to justify my poor decisions guy.
    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr5sogzd4j1qfd3x7.gif

    I am the one who knocks....I am the Danger!

  26. #26
    Wildcat Fan JS Esq.'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Arty View Post
    LOL...Sounds like JS Esq needs to be taxed more.
    I'm a Fed, so I get taxed in income and in disrespect from all the "conservatives" who accuse public-sector employees of being overpaid, unqualified, and lazy (I make less than half of what I would if I were still in a corporate firm, and had to beat out 700 people to get this job).

    I don't play golf. I worked at two country clubs (Pinetop Lakes and White Mountain) and hit a few balls, but that was it. I'm just not rich and white enough to be accepted by those who do play.

  27. #27
    Baltimore Blowfish Palpalife's Avatar
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    Default Re: Obamagolf.

    Originally Posted by Esq View Post
    Love it, except for the disconnect where ppl regularly go into crippling debt for medical costs. Not so much with golf balls.

    Also, pro v1s are the most expensive ball possible, of the major market products. So in essence this guy is upset that he can't get the most expensive product available because the new plan HE DECIDED to join doesn't cover most expensive product.

    If either one wants to he could go get the best, he just wont be covered under the plan unless he pays for a plan that does cover it or he just goes and pays out of pocket to a place offering the product.

    So, what you have is a guy who is still able to play golf / live, just using a less expensive product, due to his plan.



    Otherwise great.

    My plan didnt change. Im still able to only get nike ones. My plan never covered pro v1s.
    my plan didn't change either. Unless you consider not being offered after this year a change...

    Sent from my SCH-I110 using Tapatalk 2

  28. #28
    Norcal Ninjas Simon Says's Avatar
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    All yall are a bunch of dicks!!!! None of you understand how hard it is to survive on EBT cards and free health care you hatin ass punks.

  29. #29
    Raleigh Reignmakers CrazyCatzfan's Avatar
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    Haha so much win in this thread!! Except for the analogy, which was awful and made nonsense at all. That being said obamacAre is terrible public policy... We needed a single payer system or at least a public option

  30. #30
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    I've got a great joke for you guys. What's the difference between a golf ball and health insurance?

    One's a small dimpled ball with a tough cover and a resilient core of rubber, used in playing golf and the other is a promise of reimbursement that compensates the insured for the medical expenses of an illness or hospitalization.



    Classic.

  31. #31
    Wildcat Fan Azwldctfan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JS Esq. View Post
    I'm a Fed, so I get taxed in income and in disrespect from all the "conservatives" who accuse public-sector employees of being overpaid, unqualified, and lazy (I make less than half of what I would if I were still in a corporate firm, and had to beat out 700 people to get this job).

    I don't play golf. I worked at two country clubs (Pinetop Lakes and White Mountain) and hit a few balls, but that was it. I'm just not rich and white enough to be accepted by those who do play.
    I don't care how much money you have or what skin color you are as long as I don't have to wait for you to hit from the women's tees.

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